


Alone

by Red_W0lf



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Blood, Feels, M/M, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 20:22:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18146999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_W0lf/pseuds/Red_W0lf
Summary: Tyler gets stuck in an elevator and panics





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Originally my best fren posted this when I didn't have an account myself but now I decided to continue this and repost it on mine, hope you like it

Of course this had to happen now. Right now when he´s alone. All alone. Without Josh. Cursing, he pressed the button. Twice. Nothing happened. The elevator didn´t move an inch. Why did that happen right now? Otherwise, he always took the stairs if possible or he had Josh with him if the way was too long and they had to take the elevator. It wasn´t just the feeling of being stuck, it was the feeling of being alone with his thoughts and his fears in a narrow space with no one who could soothe him.

Josh and Tyler had wanted to eat lunch together, to celebrate another successful concert. They wanted to be alone, just the two of them, to escape the hustle and bustle of the tour life. But Tyler had forgotten his jacket in the hotel room. They had just been on the way to the car when he noticed it. To avoid wasting time, he told Josh, he would quickly get the jacket alone, while Josh should get the car. Josh had eyed Tyler with an examining and at the same time worried look and had asked him, whether he shouldn´t come with him. 

It was clear that Tyler had to take the elevator, because it would take too long to walk to the 17th floor of the hotel. 

But Tyler had waved off and swallowed his fear. He said to Josh that nothing would happen. How often is an elevator stuck, Tyler laughed at Josh. Twice a year? And if he got a panic attack, he could call Josh. Josh had given him a compassionate look, which reaffirmed Tyler in his decision to get the jacket on his own. He finally had to overcome his fears. He knew that his insecurities were a huge strain to Josh and his other friends. However, especially for Josh because he was the only one who could tear Tyler out of a panic attack and soothe him. So Tyler had overcome his fear and went off to get his jacket. 

And now he had entered what he had feared. The elevator had just passed the 14th floor when the light flickered. Tyler heard a metallic roar and the elevator was getting faster. Tyler squatted all over his body when it picked up speed. Tyler pressed himself against the metal wall to find a halt and he pinched his eyes tightly, his mind full of panic. Then a deafening squeal sounded, the elevator slowed down, there was a jolt and with a last groan it stopped. With Tyler in it, alone. His mind was empty. All he felt was naked panic. His heart was racing and he took a quick breath into his lungs. He had completely forgotten to breathe. He began to respire heavily and violently. He realized that a terrible panic attack was approaching. Tyler tried to calm down and counted slowly until 30. After every second number, he briefly held the air and emptied his lungs completely afterwards. A trick Josh had shown him once.

His breath calmed down. Then he carefully opened his chocolate-brown eyes. A piercing pain passed through his palms. Tyler opened his clenched fists. Blood gathered on the palms of his hands, paving itself a way through the small wrinkles and soon covered the entire inside of his hands.

Tyler had clenched his fists so much that his fingernails had slit open the sensitive skin and left four deep, crescent-shaped, bleeding wounds. He ran his tongue over his dry lips.

 

He suddenly had a metallic taste in his mouth.

He hadn´t noticed at all that his teeth had dug into his under lip and had also left bleeding wounds there. He carefully loosened his tense muscles.

Tyler tested his remaining body but he was unaffected except for the wounds in his palms and his lip. At least internally.

Slowly he tried to collect himself and grasp the whole situation.

He was stuck alone in an elevator, apparently between two floors. He tried to suppress his anxiety and looked around. The elevator was large enough to be able to lie down. The ceiling consisted of a single large mirror.

When Tyler looked up, he saw a lime-white face with wide-eyed bloodshot eyes and lips, smeared with crimson-red blood. Hastily he looked away. He hardly recognized himself. His breathing swelled rapidly, the panic came back.

“I´ve got to get out of here. I have to get out of here immediately.”

His eyes fell on the display for the floors. It changed constantly between the 14th and 15th floor. Instantly relieved, he recognized the red emergency button. If you pressed the button, a telephone connection would be established to the lobby and Tyler would get help. He rushed forward and pushed it with trembling index finger. He waited a few seconds with a beating heart.

Nothing happened.

His heart stopped for a beat.

“No, please. Come on”, he growled.

He pushed the button again. When nothing happened again, he began to hit the button with his right fist as if he were out of his mind. Then he pressed every single button he could see. The elevator didn´t move and the light started to flicker again.

“Help”, Tyler whimpered. “Help, can anyone hear me?”

He slapped his fists with all his might against the display and then against the door. His calls for help were getting louder and louder. He screamed and tapped until he was hoarse and his fists burned. With a last, barely audible “Please”, he gave up.

Whimpering, he stumbled backwards. When he felt the opposite wall in his back, he slid down and finally sat on the soft carpet floor, leaning against the cold wall. He pulled his legs to his chest, wrapped them with his arms and buried his face in his knees. He was cold. Cold with fear. He wanted, he had to escape from that prison. Otherwise he would go mad.

Trembling, he sat there. Tears ran down his face and soaked his black pants. If only he hadn´t taken the elevator on his own.

 

 

If only he hadn´t forgotten his jacket. If only Josh were with him.

Josh. What would Josh do in his place? He would never give up and sit on the floor crying. Josh would fight.

But Tyler was not Josh. He was frightened and unsure of oneself and this fright and uncertainty took him all the air to breathe. Only Josh was able to alleviate the feeling of suffocation that fell over Tyler when he felt caught in a situation or a room. And now he was caught.

At such moments, he wished he didn´t need to feel anything. No fear, no uncertainty and no certitude that he was a burden for josh.

He wished he could close his eyes and go.

But there was something no someone who held him back. Someone who didn´t let him go. Someone who brought him back to life in his darkest moments.

And this someone was Josh. Josh held him tight.

But Josh wasn´t here. Maybe he should give up. Josh would understand. He always understood him. Of course he would be sad at first. But then he would realize that Tyler had always been a burden, that his life without Tyler would be better, easier. Josh could finally live his life and could do whatever he wanted without having to take care of Tyler. Josh could finally be free and Tyler could be it too. He could be free of his fears and free of knowing that he was only a burden for Josh. Josh was only his friend because he felt compassion with Tyler, because he was kind and a good man.

Tyler took his purse from his pocket and pulled out the credit card. He wouldn´t need it anymore. With a short clack he broke the credit card apart. He ran a finger over the sharp edge of one half. He looked at his finger. There was a fine crack, from which blood dripped. That would be enough, he thought. He groped for his artery on the left hand and placed the sharp-edged card in position.

Shortly, Tyler thought of Josh, then he pressed the edge resolutely into his flesh and slit along the artery while still sitting on the carpet floor in the elevator. It hurt more than Tyler had thought, but he was used to the pain. Crimson-red blood streamed steadily from the long, thin wound. The smell of iron filled the small room. The pain changed into a dull slow throb. Tyler felt dizzy. He was getting too tired to continue his work on the other arm. He dropped the credit card. His arms hung low and his head fell backwards. Tyler closed his eyes. He was so tired. All his strength left him.

A strange feeling came over him. What did he do here? He did not want to die. He wanted to live. With Josh. He wanted to grow old. With Josh. With last power he lifted the right arm and tried to knock on the door of the elevator. But he was already too weak and his arm fell again to the ground. Tyler´s breathing weakened. Suddenly he heard a low sound. It sounded like a weak call. Tyler knew this voice.

Josh. He came.

Then everything went dark.


	2. Together

The minute Tyler is gone, Josh had a bad feeling in his guts. His hands became cold as ice and he felt his heart beating steadily against his ribcage. Restless he began to pace back and forth. Every time he got a bad feeling like this including his cold hands, something was wrong with Tyler.   
Every fricking time. 

He was about to turn on his heels and run after Tyler like a cheetah on the hunt when his phone rang. With shaking hands he fiddled his phone out of his pocket and almost dropped it. He answered the call without hesitation and didn’t even take the time to look at the number. “Tyler”, he almost screamed into the speaker. “We’re are you? I’m on my way.”   
“Whoa, chill Dude. I’m not deaf, yet.”   
Josh’s heart dropped. It´s not the voice he’s hoped to hear. It’s Mark.   
“But if you keep screaming, I will be soon”, Mark continued. “Josh?”

Josh breathed heavily into the speaker. “I…sorry Mark, I hoped you were Tyler.”

“I realized that.” 

Josh rubbed his temple. “Mark, I’ve got a bad feeling. Tyler went to get his jacket he forgot in our room and he’s just gone but Mark, I don’t know, I feel like he’s in danger.”  
“Wait, what? Why would he be in danger when he’s just getting his jacket?”

“It’s, it’s because he has to take the elevator for that. And I didn’t go with him. And you know about his fear. Damn, Mark , when he’s all alone in this damn thing and he gets stuck...I…I don’t know how he’ll react. You know, when he got his panic attacks, he isn’t able to think reasonable, he doesn’t know what he’s doing…Mark, I don’t know what he’ll do when he’s all alone, I’m so scared. And it’s all my fault, if I just went with him, if I just…” Josh was sobbing now.

“Whoa, Josh, Josh, calm down man. Am I getting this right. Tyler went to get his jacket and he has to take the elevator for that and now you’re scared that he is stuck in sad elevator all alone?” Mark was trying to comprehend.

“That’s what I’m saying!”, Josh shouted and earned a few looks.

“But Dude”, Mark was trying his best to calm his friends down. “How often does an elevator get stuck? Maybe twice a year.”  
“That’s what Tyler said too.” Josh lowered his voice and tried to pull himself together. “But I’ve got this bad feeling and you know I’m almost always right.”

“Alright Josh, I think I wouldn’t worry too much but maybe you could call him, I’m sure everything’s going to be alright.”

agreed with him and promised to tell him when he was sure that Tyler was alright. But to be honest he wasn’t eased at all.  
But on the other hand he didn’t want to run after Tyler just to detect that he was fine.   
Because Tyler being Tyler would interpret this that Josh didn’t have enough confidence in Tyler to master things on his own. And Josh didn’t want this at all. He trusted Tyler with his life and knew that he could achieve anything he wanted, but anxiety attacks often turned Tyler into a mess full of self-doubts.

He decided to call him first. But things didn’t go easy once and of course Josh kept calling and calling and no one answered.   
Josh stood there, phone in hand, head hanging low and pondered for a moment. 

Then he put his phone in his pocket and ran. 

 

He rammed a few people, received angry shouts and stumbled over stairs. Nothing was on his mind but Tyler.   
He finally reached the lobby and the elevator and pressed the button, breathing heavily. Nothing happened. Josh felt sick. His mind raced. He ran to the reception. The receptionist took a few steps back at his sight. Josh realized he must look like a madman, face red and sweaty and leaning on the table to keep him from collapsing on the ground out of fear for Tyler. The man gulped. “How can I help you, Sir?”   
Josh tried to form proper sentences.  
“The…The elevator is broken and and I think my boyfriend is in it. And and ..” Josh breathed heavily. “And he’s got bad anxiety and I don’t know what he’ll do if…I think we need an ambulance.”

Josh didn’t know what he would have done if the receptionist didn’t understand. But he reacted immediately and called the security. “He must be stuck between the 14th and 15th floor, electricians are already there,” he said pointing towards the display above the elevator.   
“I’ll call the ambulance, Sir”, he managed to say before Josh disappeared in the staircase. 

 

He wasn’t sure how he managed to get to the 14th floor without losing his mind. He doesn’t even remember how much time passed. All of this passed in a blur. All he knew is that he screamed Tyler’s name the whole time.

they finally managed to repair the elevator which happens quite fast but not fast enough and the doors open in the 14th floor, Josh collapsed on the floor. He saw that Tyler was lying there unconscious; blood pouring down his arms and everything became blurry.  
…

They said he couldn’t hold Tyler’s hand because they needed to sew the wound so Tyler wouldn’t bleed to death.   
They said he could go with them even he wasn’t family and they said that he had to wait outside while they took care of him. They said that he will be fine.

 

The first thing Josh said to Tyler is “I love you.”

The first thing Tyler said to Josh is “Don’t leave me alone.”

The second thing Josh said to Tyler is “I won’t.”


End file.
